For all the expectations I tried to avoid, before returning to a place I already come to love once in my life I stayed focused on my wish, not just to leave home again, but to come back, it felt like me and Lisbon have some unfinished business. We got our second chance and as time passes you turn back making a temporary inventory of events, thoughts and reasons that sum up the present moment, it all makes sense. While the résumés we make in our lives change and evolve according to our growth or rather rational needs to make sense of the present, I can feel this was no coincidence, and feelings are something you can not contest or change; they are the essences of our memories, as sounds and smells – triggers that tell us who we were – who we are… Lisbon smells like home and has been part of me for a long time now.
It always happens, when landing in a new place, it usually is a rainy day, with a somehow dark and gray horizon, an atmosphere that leaves you in suspense, as someone telling you: Well honey, you will have to make something of it! But I know Lisbon’s sunny days and how fast the clouds move through the sky driven by the open oceans winds – as 500 years back in time it feels like the last stop, for now things have fallen into place.
When you have the opportunity to experience something you in part already know and love again, can bring you only more – this time, more than coming back home, meant getting a family. In this short time people, I guess I was lucky to encounter, resonate what this experience means to me. As I was trying to figure out, if this is only me, my state of mind or our basic need to connect, to fight the remains of what is unknown and new, I concluded it is all of it, but most importantly it is what we, who live this together, all feel like. It might be a glance of my rationalizations, but it’s the only way to make sense of it.
For me this is the heart of the EVS experience – people brought closer because of our sameness and the circumstances of detachment from what is safe. From what I feel, the strong connections care and love towards and from everyone I have around, is not only a basic way to survive, but a wonderful human tendency that brings communities and groups together – as a sane, constructive collaboration.
I would just like to thank all of you that apparently know what we live and make this journey so much easier for us. Friends and family is what I make of it for now, at home and at work. As the bases are set and firm, adding some creativity and action in the next step should come easy. I will keep avoiding all expectations, as things and feelings evolve, since I have learned this is what makes more space to change it for the better.
Kaja
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