O testemunho da Aurelie No. 2 (Associação Spin)

Wake up. Morning routine takes a few hours, I savour it and them. Sit to work. Can I make this space into an

office? So many changes in these months. Isolation to reconvening with people, now I live with others. My bedtime is later, I try to stick to my early rise yet sometimes the discipline is not there. This afternoon tiredness. Today - meeting, that’s how the working day started. And an intention to sit in the park and do some work tasks after the meeting before heading home for lunch. An intention set and not realised. It was a nice chat with Tavi, a mutual interest and the semblance of presence because we were talking about presence. Discipline, how often am I able to bring this word into conversation? Very, of late. This doesn’t feel like discipline, sometimes discipline looks like not choosing the comfort of a familiar conversation. Sometimes it’s about remembering the intention set and making that happen. To break these old patterns of procrastination. 

Volunteering is a lot about self-motivation, perhaps more so in these post-lockdown times, we still do not go to the office, but we are more free… My bedroom doubles as an office. Tasks take some time in this sleep place. Being in the office could help me in these days to remember what it is I’m working for. We didn’t come here for this, but then again, before we came how could we even know what to expect? It’s human to have expectations before a new beginning, that are created based on what we see on the website of what we have applied for, and words that describe the coming adventure in the ‘job’ description. Corona Corona… Your effect is inescapable, ever present and tangible in the enforced distance and covered half faces. 

I am grateful. For this opportunity to come to Lisbon, for the chance to stay during the lockdown and be occupied by something. I am bored of work being sitting in front of a computer in my bedroom, supporting an organisation I never got a chance to feel so passionate about. 3 days at the office before we were quarantined. Colleagues are distant, physically and psychically. I’ve heard of people that have managed to create a separation between work and home life, within the confines of their home. Well done them. I have tried (hard enough...??). I think I needed more pushing from a superior for these computer-based tasks that aren’t so inspiring. Or I needed to find a personal project that I was so excited about that I could spend my extra hours working on. Then I would be motivated to complete my responsibilities to allow time for CREATING MY VISION. I have one, and these excuses are starting to induce curling of insides, raising of shoulders and lowering of head - ‘just do it’ I hear myself. It’s more organisation - I identify the problem, and I’m right in being ashamed when I don’t respond to it - this is holding myself accountable and recognising the things that make me feel bad, and wisdom and growth would look like changing the shame-inducing behaviour to something that makes me feel proud and accomplished! 

 

I’ll let you in on my secret - (one of) my personal project(s) has indeed been very personal - it’s been understanding more deeply the workings of my mind and the reasons for which I am here now today. This was a very important project for my 31st year. So I thank you Spin and Lisbon and the crisis of the world for facilitating this process. 

I have enjoyed teaching Portuguese, researching (at times :P) for omundodesdecasa, supporting people in their journey of discovering ESC and applying, seeing what wonderful opportunities there are for young people and telling those that I meet that such things exist! It was also very nice to return to the office this month and cook a delicious and nutritious meal with Michele for the other Spin volunteers and Giulia, and to reconnect and be in a new space! It's exciting and motivating and fun to share food and stories and laugh together and work. I do hope we have some opportunities to be together in our working environment over the coming months. Tchau for now!